Slights of Hand

Some things are better left unseen

153,211 notes

If My Dog Could Talk

Dog:
WAT DOING
Me:
Nothing. I just stood up.
Dog:
WHERE GO
Me:
I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
Dog:
CAN I COME
Me:
I mean sure but I'm literally just-
Dog:
I COME TOO
Dog:
WAT DOING
Me:
I need to open this door.
Dog:
I HALP
Me:
No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
Dog:
I HALP
Me:
Sigh.
Dog:
WHERE GOING
Me:
I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
Dog:
CAN I COME
Me:
Sure.
Dog:
I SIT IN LAP
Me:
No please don't you are-
Dog:
I SIT IN LAP
Me:
No there's no room and-
Dog:
LAP
Me:
No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
Dog:
RIGHT HERE
Me:
That's literally on top of my leg.
Dog:
IT'S PERFECT PET ME
Me:
I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
Dog:
PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:
I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
Dog:
PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
Me:
I AM
Dog:
I SIT IN LAP
Dog:
PET ME PET ME PET ME
Dog:
HOLD SLOBBER TOY
Dog:
SNEEZE IN UR FACE
Me:
.......

94 notes

weaponology:

POLEAXThe poleax was a multi-purpose weapon: the spike was used for thrusting. the ax blade for cutting through armor, and the hammer head for crushing tissue and bones. This poleax has long langets and a rondel or disc to protect the bearer’s hands from weapons sliding down the shalt.HALBERDDeveloped by the Swiss in the 13th century, the halberd was primarily a slashing weapon. although its spike could be used lor thrusting.The fearsome Swiss infantry used halberds to great effect at the battle or Morgarten, where they destroyed an Austrian army in 1315.GERMAN HALBERDDuring the 16th century, halberds became increasingly decorative in style. but this example dated around 1500, is very much a utilitarian weapon or war. A powerful spike is combined with a diagonal ax blade and a hooked fluke.

weaponology:

POLEAX

The poleax was a multi-purpose weapon: the spike was used for thrusting. the ax blade for cutting through armor, and the hammer head for crushing tissue and bones. This poleax has long langets and a rondel or disc to protect the bearer’s hands from weapons sliding down the shalt.


HALBERD

Developed by the Swiss in the 13th century, the halberd was primarily a slashing weapon. although its spike could be used lor thrusting.

The fearsome Swiss infantry used halberds to great effect at the battle or Morgarten, where they destroyed an Austrian army in 1315.


GERMAN HALBERD

During the 16th century, halberds became increasingly decorative in style. but this example dated around 1500, is very much a utilitarian weapon or war. A powerful spike is combined with a diagonal ax blade and a hooked fluke.

(via petermorwood)

141,067 notes

supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

(via fuckitfirespookythings)